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| Image by Color Me Rad |
This past weekend, we were able to spend a lot of time with our good friends Max & Leigha. They have been great friends to us both together and apart. They got married just 9 months ago and immediately moved to San Diego after their wedding while we stayed in Orange County. We were a tad bit heartbroken that we couldn't hang out with them as fresh newlyweds, mainly because I knew how much we needed a married couple to hang out with after we got married. The problem was, none of our friends were married yet, we were the first of the group and dove right in. I remember wanting to just be able to talk with another "new wife." The issues I was facing wasn't something that I could go to mom for. I was looking for advice, feedback and just to know that the things that Paul & I were experiencing in our first few months as husband & wife were okay and normal. That it was ok that we were arguing and that we weren't having sex 6x a day (yes I just went there). Young Christian couples somehow get that idea in their head. After 4 years of waiting, I guess your mind goes wild with possibilities (yep still going, hang with me). I look back and laugh at my naivety at 20. But don't we all..
Now that I'm are 2.5 years in as a Mrs, I don't feel like a pro, at all. Sometimes I go thru moments of, "Hey I'm starting to figure this whole marriage thing out!" Only to feel completely discouraged days later. As my friend and I split a grilled cheese and talked on the couch together it felt great knowing that she wished for all those same things too as a newlywed. She expressed how she felt so alone amongst her single friends, they wouldn't understand the current failed expectations of newlywed life she was experiencing and the not so fabulous marital bliss. Although we now have been blessed with many married friends in our life, a small weight lifted off my shoulders after that chat. Marriage is a funny one but I'm thankful for the support of friends & family and happy to take it on with this one inparticular.
This is a lovely post, thanks for being so honest. I've been married for a year and we are still looking for other young married couples....it's hard because it seems like all of our existing friends are single, and so many of the couples we meet have children already (which is totally wonderful, but it's a different phase of life). I think it's especially hard to find other young Christian couples. All of this to say, you're not alone! Glad you had that grilled cheese chat, that sounds nice :)
ReplyDeleteSomething Ivory
Kate - thanks for your comment :) I totally know what you mean, we have a few married friends that have kids and it can be hard to relate with them too since they are totally in another time of life. There is nothing like the friendship of other "young-marrieds" to fellowship with!
DeleteI definitely get this. We were the first married couple of our friends too. My bestie finally just got married, but she doesn't live close either so it's still a lonely world. Glad to hear that we aren't alone in that!
ReplyDeleteAww yes it can be such a trial. We're all in it together girl :)
DeleteI totally know what you mean! You guys are so cute, love this pic!
ReplyDeletekristal
I totally know that you mean...and I'm only 7 months into my marriage. None of our friends were married yet, except 1 couple but they had a baby right before our wedding. Yes they were married, but they had their first child after waiting so long and I didn't feel like I could connect with her on that level...I still struggle with the questions like, "Is this normal? What am I doing wrong? Is this really okay?"....
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that I understand where you're coming from and I have a great listening ear! :D It's so important for us to have those friends who we can go to and ask question and be honest with each other...it helps so much!
I'm glad that you've found a friend to connect with!